What can I say but that my life is just getting better and better. I have sorted out a few things and learned a few more, and even though I've not gotten a whole lot of writing done, I am supremely happy with where I am.

What have I been up to, you might ask? Mostly, reading. I have allowed my little digits (1-5) to eat up a lot of computer time whilst I relax and do things that are as equally enjoyable as sitting in front of the glowbox. Digit #6 is too little to do more than mess up the computer in ways I cannot fix, so he's not allowed to play. But this is fine, because he would much rather sneak out of the house and eat kitty's food and play in the car whenever I'm not looking.

I was thinking back to my dreaded RESOLUTIONS made back in January, and I believe that the cold must have affected my thinking, else why would I ever, EVER deign to clean my entire house?? Really, quite ridiculous. Besides reading, I can't really remember what else I promised I would do, except that one BIG thing I will never do. Hmmm... I have too many other, more interesting, things to occupy my time than something as mundane as finding the floor, or checking whether I still own a working vacuum.

Sheesh.

Well, here's the low-down on my latest reads:

Savvy by Ingrid Law--

A really cute story for the younger YA's (12-14) that I enjoyed. I look forward to the sequel, Scumble, and recommend this for any and all.

are these my basoomas i see before me by Louise Rennison--

The final confessions of Georgia Nicolson. As I've probably mentioned about these books, this being the tenth (and last) in the series, they are utterly ridiculous, but oh, so funny.

Wondrous Strange and Darklight by Lesley Livingston--

I started out really liking this series. Book one (Wondrous Strange) has just enough mystery and romance to keep, yours truly, happy. While I did guess the bulk of the mysteries long before they were officially revealed--this may be due to the small fact that I've been around the book-block a few times--I still enjoyed the read. Book two (Darklight) introduces more mystery, or confusion, depending on how you look at it, and this is where I start to lose interest. This second book bridges the end of the first with whatever sequel will come next without a separate story line or plot. It's just another 'and in this episode we learn that...' which really bugs me about series books. I can understand having suspense and anticipation for the next book and all, but really, each book should stand on its own. Shouldn't it? Oh well, I'll likely keep reading this series to the end.

Emergency Preparedness

I am beginning to think my computer has a vendetta against me editing. A few hours in, and it freezes up, leaving me shallow of breath and brain, hands waving frantically above the keyboard and wondering when last I saved, whether that save 'took' and how much work I'll have to re-do because sometimes it doesn't save even when it says it does and I exit the program thinking it will be ok, say a little prayer, go to bed, and wake up to find that everything I did the day before has ceased to exist!

AAAAAaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

All I can say is, "Not again!"

So, any way, I'm frozen out now (again) and I just can't fathom removing my posterior from this not-so-comfortable office chair in order to find any actual, physical work to occupy me elsewhere because I'm in 'obsessive computer freak mode' and have to KEEP WORKING.

Soo, I thought I'd pop over here and play with my blog. Today's subject, as stated above, is emergency preparedness, though I won't bother with the big-time stuff like first aid or food and water storage, those topics can be researched on serious sites (i.e. - not here).

What To Do When:

...my toddler says, "I got the ew on the end of my finger." ?
-do not panic. Whatever he/she has will require a tissue and hand soap. Take toddler by the hand to prevent the eating/wiping of unknown substance until a sink or tissue can be located. Further investigation may lead to more cleaning, depending on what unknown substance turns out to be.

... I brake at the stoplight and my toddler's seat flips forward?
-do not panic. Little Houdini has been practicing escape techniques. Put on your emergency flashers (they are good for something) and put your car in park. >do not forget this step. Re-fasten your child's seat and gently scold/soothe, but do not let him/her out of the seat or this may become an incentive to repeat the stunt.

... my teenager tells me that her best friend is have an 'all-weekend-party'?
-Answer very calmly, "Good for her." Further discussion will reveal said teenager's desire to attend, but if you can remain calm, a reasonable 'no' can be achieved.

... my pubescent boy won't take a shower?
-Well, that's a toughie. If it's warm enough outside, consider moving him into a tent. Other options include, but are not limited to, pretending that you will wash the car together and spraying him down while his back is turned; taking him to a lake and pushing him in; convincing him to get baptized (religion is always a good idea); bribery; and maybe even ignoring the situation until someone he esteems higher than you makes mention of that 'odiferousness'. (This last suggestion should be a last resort for health code reasons.)

... I'm having a crisis and I've run out of chocolate?
-PANIC. Get to the store ASAP and buy the best brand of chocolate you can find. Eat at the register, if necessary. If you are unsure as to which brand is best, buy several and try them all.

Seriously, there are certain things you should keep stocked at all times in your house. You know what they are. If you run out of these items, life as you know it will cease to be. Chocolate tops the list. Tampons, peanut butter, and diapers are on there too. (They are in my house.)

...I've finally written a kick-butt query and an agent requests sample pages, but then turns down my glorious work with the standard 'Not for me' rejection?
-Do not panic. Eat chocolate and look over your ms. The power of chocolate will help you see whether work needs doing. After you are enlightened, start revising. Unless your computer hates you--like mine--you will be back on the road to success in no time.


My final bits of advice for the day: Back up all your files, and employ the hottest computer geek you can find. Pay with chocolate XXX :P

Another week

Did you ever get that feeling... after reading a couple of really great books, or after writing and writing for a long stint and finally coming up for air (whether by choice or forced)... the feeling of emerging from a tunnel? You're disoriented, unhappy, and can't figure, for the life of you, what to do but go back to your 'real' life.

OK, yeah. Me neither.

Where has the week gone? I think I did a lot of work, but I can't remember what. Or when. I must have fed the munchkins, 'cause they haven't keeled over yet. I think I paid the bills, the lights and computer are still running, and I recall seeing the sun, on occasion, so I must have left my den of iniquity at some point.

Yet, here it is, Saturday again, and the light is slowly fading into the west, so I must have squandered this day as well. Darn. -deep sigh-

At the very least, I can give y'all my book report:


Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver--

Complaint #1) bad language. Call me prude, but the first third of the book is positively swarming with foul words and snarkiness. I read on because my librarian friend recommended it as a 'good read'. I can say that the story got better; the book is extremely well written and well told, but it is another one of those stories that ought to have a warning, Do Not Read if You Have Depressive Tendencies. This book, despite the lovely prose and easy pace, comes off with (Complaint #2 is purely my own opinion) the message that some souls or people are worth saving while others are not. No me gusta.

Once a Witch by Carolyn MacCullough--

Excellent! I knew from the start that I would love this book, and I did. Highly recommended for all you YA readers.

Tantalize by Cynthia Leitich Smith--

Sorry to end on a sour note, but this book grated my inner writer so so so so badly that I could not force my way past the sixty page mark.


Until next time, keep your lights on while driving through tunnels.

Ladybug House (philosophies of fiction mingled with truth)

The place looked cheerful enough, not as run-down as the last three vacation houses, so I figured it would be alright. I pulled into the gravel drive and instructed the inmates to disembark. 'Are we there yet' had been playing consistently at two-minute intervals for the last hour and a half and I was more anxious to leave the car than the children were.

My tide of pint-sized miserables shot from the vehicle like their lives depended on it, racing across the yard, through the flowerbeds, and onto the porch of our summer retreat with enough energy to put the Energizer Bunny to shame.

"Don't trample the flowers; Get off the railing!" My 'Voice of Doom' had lost its potency about thirty miles back and none of the kids could hear it anymore. I fumbled through my purse, looking for the house key amid hundreds of discarded gum wrappers and rumpled receipts. Ooo, aspirin, better hang on to that...

Once the front door stood open, we all entered with a sigh of relief. I already needed a vacation from this vacation, but knew I had to check mattresses and plumbing before getting comfortable. The air inside had that generic 'closed up' feel that endemically accompanied summer homes. Never mind that someone had rented the place a week ago, it felt as stuffy as a cheap trailer in the Everglades--one that only alligators visited.

One by one, I opened windows and inspected the rooms. The air-conditioner wasn't working, but water flowed through the taps. All the windows had tight screens. The echo of children racing through the house grated on my nerves and I remembered to take my aspirin.

"Do NOT jump on the beds!" The noise of stretching mattress springs ceased and I could hear the whispered words of wonder, "How did she know?"

My smallest child found me in the kitchen, checking the refrigerator and stove. He held his finger out in front of him to display a squashed ladybug. An offensive smell wafted up and I wrinkled my nose.

"Did you kill that bug?"

"Yup."

With a wet paper towel, I wiped his hand clean. "Don't kill the ladybugs. They stink when you squish them."

He said something else, but I had stopped listening. The sink strainer was filled with dead ladybugs.

A blur of cleaning, changing sheets, unpacking, and phone calls to get the air-conditioner serviced left me weak-kneed by the end of the day. I fell into bed with no intention of ever rising again. --Until the scream dragged me up.

My youngest daughter stood in the middle of her bed, sheet pulled tight around her body and up to her chin. Her pitiful cries filled the room.

"What's wrong?" I asked, flipping on the light.

She pointed at the ceiling where about six ladybugs crawled over the light fixture. Another flew across the room and hit the window.

Buzzzzzz, TAP.

My daughter cried louder. "I'm scared."

"Honey, they're just ladybugs. They won't hurt you. Look." I reached to the window for one of the insects and stopped when her frantic scream grew louder.

"No, no, no, no! Don't touch them!"

No amount of consoling would get her to lay down until I dug out the vacuum cleaner and sucked all the bugs up into it. We checked under the bed, in the closet, and all around the window.

"All gone," I told her. "Will you go to sleep, now?" It came out rather harsh, considering all I'd been through that day. I would have pointed out to her that 'Mommy's just tired' but instead, I kissed her head and walked away. She'd sleep eventually.

I found a little boy in my bed, one who ought not be there, and a squashed ladybug wiped on my pillow. "Did you do this?" I asked, pointing at my pillow. He smiled and nodded. There are no nice words left in my mouth, so I kept it shut. On top of everything else, Little Boy needed a diaper change.

An hour later, the last light out, all the midgets have lost the battle against fatigue and I can only wish the same. I remembered to flip my pillow to the clean side before lying on it and close my eyes. Then I heard the noise. TAP.

Again, and again. Buzzzzzzzz, TAP. Buzzzzzzzz, TAP.

Where are all these freaking bugs coming from? I made a mental note to call an exterminator first thing in the morning and tried to block out the sound from my mind.

I dreamed of swimming in the river, cool slow water flowing around me, little fish darting below my feet and tickling my legs, my arms. I dove, mildly confused by the sensation of breathing under water, but such are the ways of a dream. The tickly fish swam all around, making me itch. It was the scratching that woke me. My hand landed on a hard, little lump, and another. The stink of squashed ladybug hit my nose; a crawly-tickly sensation spread over both arms and legs, and on my face.

I jumped out of the bed, screaming. Things were in my mouth, my nose, and I darted for the nearest light switch. They were everywhere, the ladybugs, all over the ceiling and walls, crawling over my bed, crawling over me. I can't shake hard enough, or swat them away fast enough. I'm pulled off my clothes, shaking bugs away, crunching insect bodies beneath my bare feet. The smell of their deaths reached my nose and made me gag. It was too much for me to stand there any longer. I wanted to run from the house and never come back.

The children...

The nightmare was not over. I raced into the other rooms to find each little child covered, head to toe, in insects. My eyes blurred as I pulled them, unresponsive, from their beds, slapping bugs away from their faces, digging red-black insects from their noses and mouths. When they woke, they cried, confused, tired. But when they saw the ladybugs, hysteria broke loose.

Not until I've scooped my last child out of his bed and have run from the house did I notice the blood. Hundreds of tiny welts, like bug bites, bleed along my littlest boy's skin. We left everything behind, driving forever to the nearest hospital to tell an unbelievable story, over and over, to doctors, police, and social workers. By the time anyone went to investigate at the house, all that remained of the ladybugs was a few dead insects in the sink strainer.



Now, what in hay have I been reading? you ask...

Nothing bad.

Ashes by Kathryn Lasky--

A historical fiction of a German girl during the rise of the Nazis. I thought it well done in the historical flavor department, but lacking in the overall, story-telling department. In other words: I didn't like the ending.

Fablehaven book 5, Keys to the Demon Prison by Brandon Mull--

Loved it. Highly recommended reading.


That's all for now, my Internet friends. Join in next time, when Robin says, "Holy Cow, Batman!"