Exercising Futility

futile adj. useless, ineffectual, frivolous; futility.

There are things in this world, laws if you will, that go on and on without question throughout all the ages and forever. Water is wet, dogs like to smell that way, and dirty dishes have no end. Parenting falls somewhere between dogs and dishes and, even though I don't recall signing my name in blood, there must be contract out there binding me--mind, body and soul--to the position.

Fine. Yes, I did quit. But I'm a fiction writer, right? Nobody believes my words and all is null and void during stormy nights when the power goes out and a diaper needs changing. Pull out the wellies and change the sheets. Say goodbye to sleep, it's over-rated anyway. Rain, hail, snow and wind, bring it, baby.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a visit from the head lice fairy and doused her in toxins and washed EVERYTHING in the house. She died. This week, our partially finished basement turned into a really dirty swimming hole. I wonder if the mice enjoyed it...

OK. I know I said I would clean the entire house this year, but I really wasn't expecting to tackle it right away. Six kids in a three bedroom house, shall we review the definition of futile? First, they outnumber me and I'm no longer bigger than all of them. Second, my motivation went on vacation without me. If I clean the living room and walk away, there's a pillow fort being constructed upon my return, complete with an entire Lego nation preparing for battle. Cleaning bathrooms...little boys-- need I say more? Of all my ridiculous goals, cleaning the house was the one that scared me most. I prayed for help. (cue laughter)

Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful. The parasites are gone and that weird smell from the boys' room disappeared. All the junk I couldn't bring myself to deal with in the basement now stares me in the face each day, piled in the living room, awaiting judgement. The only areas of the house divinely unaffected are the office and garage. All I need is a big trash can, multiple trips to the dump, and a tornado to knock the garage roof off, but I'm a teensy bit wary of praying for that last one. Besides, who counts the garage as part of the house?

I'll pray for something else.